My dear angel,
You have taught me so much throughout the last 18 months. I read as much as I can about parenting or child psychology to ensure I’m leading you towards a bright future. However, you, my little nugget, have been my true teacher.
I wanted the Attachment Parenting (AP) type of lifestyle for us before realizing it was a thing. I wanted to carry you, breastfeed on demand, co-sleep and provide a safe environment for our learning and development. I had never been someone’s mom before! However, you hated all three carriers (Ergo, Baby Bjorn, ring sling), slept better in your crib the first four months and only wanted to nap in my arms. Instinctively, I followed your lead. I never thought we were doing anything unsafe or wrong no matter what anyone said.
Boy, do they talk. I followed your cues instead of trying to educate the masses. I’ll respond with something totally ridiculous or comical instead of trying to question someone else’s beliefs. “How much longer will you nurse her?” is my favorite question. My response is always “until she gets married or goes to college.“ I don’t take it personally and don’t want to get riled up for nothing. You are not a calf so cow’s milk was never on the menu as my milk replacement. It just never made sense to me to wean you when it was not an issue for either one of us. So what if you nurse another year? The look in your eye tells me that nursing comforts and nourishes.
Most people are puzzled by my responses. Maybe they know they’re only offering their opinion. I value all opinions because I know there are many ways to raise great humans. I want parents to follow their hearts and their child’s cues. Parent with love and the knowledge that we can always learn more and never stop trying to be our personal best.
You taught me all these things. You taught me the meaning of AP. We stay physically and emotionally connected with each other and our surrounding environment. You show me this everyday. These last two weeks, you’ve begun walking over to me and hugging my leg. Not a hold of desperation but a little hug filled with your affection towards me.
I know I have made mistakes. I have forgotten the good tips I’ve learned in the heat of the moment, but am not ashamed. You will continue to see me trying and striving to be the best version of myself. This, I know, will be one of the ways you’ll know its okay to fall, as long as you get back up. I can tell you anything I want to, but my actions are what you’ll remember. I will continue learning and growing with you, for us!
Love you more than yesterday,